After many complaints from patients, I spent a lot of time reflecting and came to some conclusions about the current way in which most people view relationships nowadays.
The capitalist world preaches to us daily through the media and social demands that the ideal is to buy more and more, to constantly change material goods even without needing it, so that we can be part of this cycle of acquisitions and discards.
We are led to think that this also happens at the level of feelings and relationships, since social demands push us towards fierce competitiveness and, therefore, in order to closely monitor such competitiveness we end up making people and animals like disposable goods. But is this right?
My patients' fair complaints involve exactly this question: to what extent should I give myself to love or to what extent am I willing to love? Love involves delivery, it involves exchange and all of this takes time, which is currently a luxury item. Therefore, it becomes easier to stay with someone at a club, to have a fleeting relationship and that's it. As the saying goes: “the queue moves”. Thus, the lines pass one by one without the people involved feeling ownership of such relationships.
The emptiness comes exactly from there, it is comparable to excessive consumption, the more you buy, the more you want to buy. To fill the void you always need more and more and more. The same goes for relationships. I stay with you today, I discard you tomorrow and the feeling of emptiness remains, deep down, since it is truly not in the next person that you will find the fulfillment of it.
To end the cycle, questioning is necessary, until you realize that by acting like this you will never be able to be fully happy, that the illusion of quantity is just that: an illusion.
Reflection here and in most cases is the path to finding answers. Through it we find our place in the world and can, from there, check whether the “objectification” of beings and ourselves is worth it.
Generalization in this case does not exist. After all, there really must be people who don't even reach the level of questioning and thus, in ignorance, are happy with their own objectification. For those who want to find the best way to be happy and satisfied with life without being the next to be discarded or to discard someone, it's worth the tip to stop and allow yourself to think, without the constant fear of being left behind.
After all, isn't it good to stop and think about what kind of world we are forced to believe is correct? This last sentence applies to animals that are discarded by the thousands every day, by the same humans who buy them in the pet shops of life and discard them like a toy that is no longer worth it. Big kiss to everyone.
* Regina Claudia Izabela is a psychologist and psychotherapist. To send your questions, write to claudia@dykerama.com.
