It is a natural condition for human beings to search for companionship. It seems necessary to experience a long love story so that you can clearly state how happy you are.
Combining our life and ideals with someone else requires a minimum of affinity, harmony and affection. Only under the condition of respect is it possible to experience a relationship intensely.
However, what was beautiful in the beginning can give way to a trajectory that no longer goes well or has a happy ending. There are those who discover the truth about their partner in the worst way: by experiencing situations of violence.
What was once love, today brings fear, anguish and a lot of pain. Domestic violence among homosexual couples shows frightening numbers. I have received several communications and requests for help regarding this topic.
Talking about this subject is delicate. Resolving it requires breaking the silence, facing fear, above all, facing a relationship doomed to failure and all the physical and emotional pain generated by the partner.
We know how common it is for many couples to share the same space, without their families knowing their sexual orientation. And this is how, in anonymity, countless couples experience a story of life and love: without invitation or space for family or friends. And so, closed in a world belonging to the couple, they are only allowed to face the most diverse situations silently.
We have certainly heard news that so-and-so was attacked by her husband – a comment always linked to the idea of violence against women due to the Maria da Penha Law. And when this aggression involves a homosexual couple? And when it is João who hits José, who finds himself surrounded by this silent world and far from the social life that plagues him, with nowhere to run? And when Maria constantly attacks Joana due to her unhealthy jealousy?
We know that the State, through police services, is unable to provide care that respects the condition of each human being. Drawing up a simple Police Report can also be a situation of embarrassment, ridicule and fear – from society and the aggressor.
I realize that many homosexual couples have experienced some type of domestic violence, and not limited to the idea of physical aggression, but also that which is psychological, socioeconomic and sexual.
It is important to highlight here that the Law is always responsible for guardianship and protection of those who are attacked, regardless of the form of violence experienced. Protective and other preventive measures must be taken so that we can ensure the integrity of those who experience pain and humiliation.
There are precedents in the Judiciary regarding the application of the Maria da Penha Law among homosexual couples, and if this same law better protects the interests of a same-sex relationship, without ridiculing or exposing those involved in a condition of humiliation due to their sexual orientation, it should be applied – and the formality of the cold letter of the law should be disregarded, claiming that it only applies to women in conditions of domestic violence.
Even though there is resistance from some courts to recognize domestic violence in homosexual relationships, nothing justifies staying in a relationship that hurts, as we have a Penal Code in full force that certainly defends them.
Breaking the silence and confronting the aggressor is a difficult process – especially when the aggressor threatens to reveal his homosexuality to friends, family and in any workplace.
Support for the abused homosexual is necessary from the family, specialized social services, psychologists and jurists, so that this subject can effectively leave this situation of violence.
Know that love does not cause physical or moral pain. It also does not expose you to embarrassing or embarrassing situations. It doesn't bother you, nor does it allow you to do what you don't want to do. Real love doesn't limit, it just frees.
If you experience any situation of violence, report it!
Seek legal guidance so that the necessary measures can be taken, thus guaranteeing your physical and mental integrity. After all, love does not cause pain or death…
Strong hug!
* Jeferson Gonzaga is a lawyer, registered with OAB/SP 307.936. He works on research and processes focused on same-sex rights.
MSN: drjeferson@live.com.
