[Yes, despite knowing that Michel wouldn't like it, I decided to tell him] Remember when I was looking for a perfect guy for my first time? It seemed to have found him. [If I had let go, which would have been the right choice, I wouldn't have lost my virginity to hot, naughty Alex and maybe I would have had a boyfriend] Michel wasn't that handsome and I had the impression that he just wanted to take me to bed. [Which was a quality] But, he said intelligent things, looked older and had tattoos.
I remembered my friends' insistence that I stop dreaming about prince charmings. [How can I not seem naive?] I decided to leave the house with that beret, the one that made me look like the police officer from the Village People, you know? [At least I thought so]
And do you know what I liked most about Michel? Azarrô permeated my clothes and left me a bit out of breath. In fact, Michel always seemed lighter, his voice was soft, he traveled with the world around him. [Now I know that he smoked a joint before meeting me] I didn't care, it made me talk less and that way it would take him longer to discover my secret. [I wasn't as intellectual as I looked, despite the glasses].
We had planned to go to Glória [a nightclub for those who enjoy heavy music and fancy clothes]. I confess, I was feeling so guilty for having made him wait forty-five minutes indecision about which beret to wear, that I jumped slightly when we entered the club.
Inside, we started kissing madly, tied to the sofa. [What it was? Never done that?] Michel seemed completely excited and I wasn't very horny. [Who cared?] I was too busy looking at the flashy, shiny clothes of those thin, stretched-out queers to realize what I was getting myself into [Unintentional double meaning].
– Shall we go to a motel? I know some cheap ones around here. [My idea for a motel still came from my mother's teachings about fleas and diseases]
[I was also worried about not having done the shower, not having shaved and not knowing if Michel was active or passive] – It could be…
FACT: In the gay world you can't afford to be a little virgin. If you don't have sex on the first date or if you do something wrong on the first date, you could be losing the love of your life, or the cock of your life, if you prefer. Those who like virgins are heterosexuals.
I was a little reluctant to get up, but when I saw it I was already in a damp and noisy corridor. People screamed, moaned loudly. [Why didn't I run?] When we entered the room, Michel had already taken off his clothes and was left in just white socks on the bed doing a kind of sensual dance. [Why was he doing that?]
- Relax…
HALLUCINATION: My mother once told me about a surprise from my father. Without asking, he took her to a motel. [Believe me, I didn't want to have known about this, but you know my mother] When they were at the entrance to the place, she started crying, begging him to get her out of there. [I had decided]
– I don’t want to have sex.
Michel still tried to pull me, turn me to the side, throw me against the wall, but I remained motionless. I turned to the corner, [he had his eyes closed and desperately asked for the night to pass quickly] I only woke up when it was dawn.
NOTE: Never refuse to have sex with a crazy-horny man with whom you went to the motel kind of-by-accidentally. He can take you by force and without a condom. What would be the sad end of such a protected virginity. [I admit it, I would love it]
