I'm desperate. I discovered that my husband is gay. I discovered his computer password and got in. I was shocked by what I saw and read. He has an affair with a boy from Curitiba. I read several emails from him in love with this boy. He's had this case for two years now. Now I understand why he never wants sex with me and is always traveling to Curitiba saying it's for work. And he lives on the internet. I saw in the history the gay sites he visits. I'm chocked. I want a light. We have been married for 15 years and have a 10 year old daughter. I can't separate because I depend on him financially. I'm depressed and I just cry in the corners. I was deceived. I don't have the courage to talk to him. I'm afraid and ashamed to talk to my family. Need help. Ana (Florianópolis – SC)
It's very difficult for women when they find out their husbands are gay. The feeling of revolt and anger appears. They often declare that they feel betrayed and deceived. This is what you are feeling. At this time you have to stay calm and look for a solution. He is the father of your daughter, so there is a strong, lifelong bond between you. Keeping this question to yourself I don't think is a legal alternative. This reality is global. Recently the media reported that in China the number of gay men married to women is so large that in Beijing they form groups to comfort and help themselves. Ana, you will have to face this situation. I suggest you seek professional help in your city. If you share this with someone you will feel more relieved and will be able to find a solution. Don't be discouraged, go ahead. There will be a solution that will be better for everyone.
*João Batista Pedrosa is a psychologist (CRP 06/31768-3) and author of the book "Segundo Desire" (Iglu). Send your queries and questions to pedrosa@syntony.com.br. Also access your website.
