I am a Biology student and I am 21 years old. My first gay sexual relationship was when I was 16 years old. Since then I've only had one relationship that lasted six months. I would like to have a stable relationship, but it is difficult. What's happening with gays, Pedrosa? Is it really just sex? Oh, I'm well-rounded, I love being gay and I've never had any major problems at home or at college. Márcio (São Paulo – SP)
Márcio, your question is very good. His questioning is very contemporary. I think the question isn't really what's happening to gays, but rather what's happening to our culture? The behavior of gays is a reflection of the changes that are occurring in our culture, whether in Brazil or even around the world.
I want to make some points for you to reflect on. In the last decade there has been a major change in our cultural practices, in particular, in our sexual cultural practices. Not just gays, but straights, too. New contingencies created new paradigms. An important variable in these changes is linked to communication. Today our planet is a large global village. The internet, cell phones and their various technologies and applications provide rapid communication between people.
Today, finding people who have similar affinities to ours is easy and it tends to get easier in the future. So, the search for sexual reinforcement has become enormously facilitated by technology. And imagine that in the last century gays had to meet in public places or ghettos. Today you can meet a guy on the internet and set up a meeting minutes later to talk or even look for sex. He can satisfy himself by having virtual or real sex, without much effort.
The change in the cultural environment changes our behavior to the extent that we are controlled by the environment and it influences our behavior at all times. For a young gay man connected to the internet who has access to a huge range of possibilities and a variety of partners, it is difficult for him to want to establish a stable relationship. Especially in large centers. A stable relationship competes with the variety of possibilities of obtaining sexual reinforcement, that is, having several sexual partners.
And there? How are the relationships? Has the stable relationship, with just one partner, collapsed? Does the future hold open relationships? New partnership arrangements will be established. It is difficult to predict what exactly will happen in the future. So, let us do in the present what life allows us to do. Let's be pragmatic.
*João Batista Pedrosa is a psychologist (CRP 06/31768-3) and author of the book "Segundo Desire" (Iglu). Send your queries and questions to pedrosa@syntony.com.br. Also access your website.
