My dears,
Sorry for the delay in updating the blog. Despite all the rush, I try to write at least once a week, generally on Wednesdays. Ideally, it would be every day, but anyway… I generally publish what I write right away. No texts stored in a drawer for centuries to fill a hole. I like to tell you what absurd thing came to mind at that minute. And in the most ironic way possible. At least that's what I humbly try.
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Straight Quiz
I've been very thoughtful lately. Worse than the lack of things to write about is the excess of topics. I tried to talk about saunas, virginity, but I couldn't resist and I'm going to write – once again – about yet another prejudiced comment – the second in less than a week – that I heard, this time, at work. The convinced straight man said the following:
"I'm so used to being dumped that it doesn't even hurt anymore and I might even become homosexual."
As far as I know, there are homosexuals who don't get dumped, much less other things. It's true that Robertinho, a great friend, is used to getting everything, but, returning to the original meaning of the phrase, he was never fired from anywhere. He's gay, but he's competent (although one thing doesn't exclude the other, let's be clear).
At these times, you feel like turning around like the late Vera Verão, living up to the biba stereotype and asking straight away: "I'm homosexual, yes, and I love having everything, what's the problem?!" Or keep the line and say: "Not even I, who's gay, am taking it. Your situation must be really bad, huh."
Based on this and tired of hearing such nonsense, I rescue exclusively for you the "Straight Quiz", with 18 questions, published in the book Changing Men (1982) by M. Rochlin. Take note: they can be very useful at various times. There they go…
. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
. When and how did you decide to be straight?
. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase?
. Is it possible that his heterosexuality is caused by a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
. If you've never slept with someone of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?
. Do your parents know you're straight?
. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep quiet?
. Why do straight people put so much emphasis on sex?
. Why do straight people feel obligated to seduce others into adopting their lifestyle?
. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are straight. Do you think it is safe to expose children to teachers? straight?
. What do men and women do in bed together? How do they actually know how to please each other when they are so anatomically different?
. With all the support that marriage has from society, divorce rates are increasing. Why are there so few stable relationships between straight people?
. Statistics show that lesbians have the lowest rate of sexually transmitted diseases. Is it really safe for a woman to maintain a heterosexual lifestyle and run the risk of getting diseases and getting pregnant?
. How can you become a complete person if you limit yourself to compulsive and exclusive heterosexuality?
. Considering the threat of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone was straight?
. Do you think a straight therapist is objective? Don't you think he would be tending to sway you to his side?
. It seems like there are few happy straight people. Techniques have been discovered that can make you change if you really want to. Have you ever thought about undergoing reversal therapy?
. Would you like your son to be straight, even though you know the problems he would face?
