Greetings! I'm a psychology student. Currently, after the end of a completely turbulent relationship for six years, I ended up getting involved with a 21-year-old young man. I'm 37 years old. There is a significant age difference between us. Even though we understand each other very well in all aspects, I'm scared to death of this relationship. I know that's the way things are, but I would like some guidance, as I don't want to get into a leaky boat. Thank you and congratulations once again! Jeff (São Paulo – SP)
Hello, Jeff. Thank you for contacting us. People are scared by the age difference between couples, whether gay or straight. There is even a certain prejudice. It seems that the rule is to relate to people our age or close in age.
The large age difference can cause some manageable problems for the couple. In my clinical experience, working with gay couples with age differences, what usually arises are some incompatibilities regarding cultural preferences and lifestyle. This happens because of differences in repertoires and experiences. For example, the older person may want a more restrained program, a theater for example, the younger person who wants to go see the rock show in São Paulo, a program more for young people or teenagers. But, there is nothing like a good conversation to create understanding. One gives in here, the other gives in there. One positively reinforces the other.
I think your relationship can work. You declare that you understand each other well in all aspects. Love has no age, as the poet said. Go ahead, enjoy this relationship, don't be afraid. Enjoy the good times you can enjoy together. Enjoy the present and the future will take care of the rest. Good luck!
*João Batista Pedrosa is a psychologist (CRP 06/31768-3) and author of the book "Segundo Desire" (Iglu). Send your queries and questions to pedrosa@syntony.com.br. Also access your website.
